My other son

I have been so focused on Ian that I totally forgot how fascinating Isaac can be. His vocabulary has surpassed what I had expected of him. I no longer see the lil boy in him...I see a little man in a lil boy's body. He has his occasional tantrums but nothing so bad that I'd want to send him away. I have been so busy with Ian lately that I have neglected him. Sometimes I think he does not notice but more often than not, I see him gravitating towards his dad,my maid and my mom these days. It hurts, It really does....So I am going to make it a point to spend more time with my eldest one coz the day he leaves the nest is approaching too soon.

The first week....

Last week marked the first week of my leave. People ask me how does it feel to be on a year's leave.....I am scared as hell. This year is going to be ME molding my son. Helping my son reach his developmental milestones. It's going to be a lot of hard work but it has to be done. I have been doing tons of research on child development and I think I am ready.....
The first week was spent registering Ian into therapies. Some places want to evaluate him first before they decide to accept him. He started Occ therapy last week and he thoroughtly enjoyed it. He has also started holding his own bottle for short spurts of time.
We went to the doc last week, ALL of his resulst came back negative. So as of now, they still do not know what is causing the delay. A check on his head size shows that it has grown 0.5 cm. Small growth but progress.
These little progresses are what I live for these days......They make my day and on days like these, I binge to make up for my rapid weight loss.

Anyway, that's all for now.

You all do know that Micheal Jackson is dead right?

He is progressing....

Ian is suddenly starting to make some progress....We got our Chromosome test results back and it is Negative. Chromosome tests were requested by the doctors to check for chromosome disorder. Among the common one that we know about is Down's Syndrome. With this test, they are also able to know if there are other kinds of Syndrome that is causing Ian's developmental delay.
For two weeks while waiting for the test results, I'd wake up every morning with palpitations. We have been told by the doctor if they do find something during the test, there is nothing we can do after all he is born with these genes. So THANK God, it is normal.
WE brought him for his monthly check up last week. More good news-his head is growing!! Albeit it being 0.5 cm but it is at least growing. Then on Monday, he suddenly started creeping on the floor. By tuesday, he was creeping as if he has done it all his (11 months) life. Today-Friday, he has moved 5 feet to get to his toys. He is making AMAZING progress. He has also started to hold his own bottle. Not for long but at least he is holding....

I realise that he is going to take miniscule steps to get to where he needs to be. Nonetheless for every little thing that he is achieving( without even knowing it), my heart swells so much with pride. My leave starts on Monday and I pray that both of us will do AMAZING things in this one year....

Something happened to Ian.....

Ian will be 1 in a week. 3 weeks ago, we brought him to see Dr. Sim( a new PD) as he has not been hitting his developmental milestones. At 11 months, Ian is not able to sit on his own, crawl and he does not have pincher-grasp. We always thought that he will develop in his own time. He is just plain lazy etc,etc....Then Dr. Sim checked his head circumference and found that his head has not grown in the last couple of months. Doc was worried. He immediately refered us to Penang General Hospital to see the Child Paediatric neurologist, Dr. Vicky.
Dr. Vicky ordered a CT scan to see if Ian's head plates has closed. If is closes too early, it will stop head growth. The scan came back as negative. 2 days after the scan, Ian had a couple of seizures. Hubs and I immediately rushed him to Island hospital. Dr. dan (Ian's doc) ordered a EEG, MRI and blood tests. My poor baby was drugged and put through these tests.
He was very cooperative during his 2 days in the hospital. His EEG did not detect any seizures so Dr. Dan discharged us.
That evening, Ian's seizures came every 1 1/2 hrs. His seizures does not last long, probably abt 15 secs maximum. However after the seizure, he'd be so scared and so disoriented that it breaks my heart just to see him like that.
The very next day, we checked into Penang GH to see the Dr. Vicky again. This time, the EEG detected some mild seizures. She put Ian on medication to monitor the situation. Ian stayed at the hospital for a nite. The next day, he was given a clean bill of health and was sent home. Ian will be on the seizure medication for a year to curb the seizures.
Whilst waiting for the blood and urine test results, I have applied for a year leave to stay home and take care of Ian. Hubs and I figured it's the best we can do for now. Ian will be going for Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy to bring him up to date.
As of today, Dr Sim checked that his head has grown a bit and he has begun to creep on the floor. Hopefully in a few months, he will be crawling and sitting on his own.
Only time will tell. I am praying that he is just taking his time developing and at the end of it all, both of us will be triumphant in this journey.

Ian, my baby

I admit...I am bad when it comes to updating my blog. No one knows abt the existance of this blog anyway. I am hoping one day my boys will come to this place and read about what I have written abt them.

My second baby, Ian is now 11 months old. There is only one word to describe Ian-Good! In fact he is so good that...MIL went to see the medium 4 times and made me see the doctor twice. Why? Coz she has raised 2 grandkids who are well.....KIDS! She is just not use to Ian who hardly lets out a peep.

Ian does not cry unnecessarily. He only cries when he is hungry and sleepy. If he is sleepy, he'd make some noise to let you know. If you ignore him, he does not escalate it to wailing...he'd just fall asleep on his own.

He is very independant. Leave him on his own, he'd happily play on his own or observe what's going on outside his playpen.

He does not drink a lot of milk but eats quite a lot. He is not chubby like Isaac was but he is strong as an ox. In that 11 months of his life, he's only been sick twice and both times he was well within 24 hours. I breastfed him for 7 months and it has indeed made a huge difference.

From the second month, he started sleeping through the nite. He is every mother's dream baby. He is just so easy to handle. ...

You can't help but to fall in love with this sweetie. I have indeed fallen madly and deeply in love with this child of mine. I am blissfully happy with my 2 kids. Both are such good kids and I could not ask for more.

Here is a photo of Ian taken by our friend Munk a couple of weeks after he was born.

Reluctant Mum

Why reluctant mum?

Why call yourself that? Many people asked....
Why not? is my answer.
I love babies.
I love how they smell=Spit and powder
I love how they feel=Soft and cuddly
I love how they sound=gurgles and giggles
They grow to be toddlers.
I love how they waddle and fall down after attempting the first few steps.
I love how slowly form into little people.
I love how amazed they are when discovering lil things like seeing a butterfly, caterpillar, fish. Things that we adults take for granted.
Then I gave birth to Isaac....
With him came the cries, the yells, the poo, nightly feeds and what I hated most was losing sleep.
I was not a happy mummy. I cried when he cried and it was often. I thought I'd be able to sashay my way into the Stepford Wife role but I was SOOO wrong. I hated being at home during the 2 months of my maternity leave. All the books that I read did not prepare me for having a baby. These books talk of the niceties of having a baby and none of the horrors mothers face everyday.
Eventually Isaac got better. He is now turning 3. From a yelling and screaming baby, he has grown into a fine, young toddler. He has none of those tantrums that toddlers are famous for, he is not fussy with food, he is polite, loves to read and most importantly he is so much more matured than lil kids his age.
We are expecting another boy in a couple of weeks. We have decided to name him Ian. While I think I will be more prepared with this baby, I am still apprehensive about the sleep that I am going to lose( As you can tell by now, Sleep is THAT important to me!!) Yes, I will be going through a whole cycle again and I pray that I have more strength to go through with it and less of the murderous thoughts that invade my head when babies cry.
So, one can conclude that I am no Bree from Desperate Housewives. I am more like Lynette when it comes to disciplining kids but at the end of it all, I hope I will have a child/mother relationship similar to that of Susan's.
At the end of a bad day, nothing perks me up faster than coming home face like this.

Knowing that in his heart, you are the world to him. The best thing about kids....they unabashedly let their love shine through.